Tom Talks

First gardeners, then golf

You know the PGA Tour is coming to Charlotte when on Wednesday morning you see 50 gardeners in front of the giant dirt pit – Dee-Dee’s Ditch – off Park Road. Given that “The Sopranos” is the greatest show in television history, the past two episodes have been disappointing. Somebody we know and love, or know and can’t stand, needs to get whacked. Enough foreshadowing, OK? “Entourage,” meanwhile, has been great. One way to make Charlotte a better place to live: Hire an officer to give tickets to drivers that park in spaces reserved for the handicapped and to drivers that park along the yellow curb in front of shopping centers and grocery stores. Park in a handicapped space, you get a $500 ticket. Park along the yellow curb, you get fined $300. The city will make enough to offset the salary the officer makes and the expenses the officer incurs. If you have to park in a handicapped spot or along the curb, stay home. Seriously. Don’t ever leave the house again. We don’t need you out there.

Entourage's Ari has a heart

I would have given the season debut of "The Sopranos" last week an A and the season debut of "Entourage" a C+. With Entourage, you wait for the one big scene, the one that makes you fall off the sofa, the one you have to talk to your friends about the next day. The scene invariably involves Ari or Drama, and last week it never really came.

On Sunday, it came. Ari's visit to Boy's Town was hilarious. The man has a heart, which I wouldn't have cared about except that in a gay bar he found the place to prove it.

The Drama/Turtle/dogs/blondes scenes also were memorable, although if you admire your dog, you had to hope that at some point Turtle would stand up for his animal. If you have to choose between the dog you love and the blonde you must met, go with the dog. I would. Turtle finally did, too.

The Sopranos dealt with a long slow death, a movie preview and heavy foreshadowing. So we know something's coming. So let it come.

Two problems. Somebody has to stand up to A.J.'s girlfriend -- who lets a woman dump on her like that? -- and it obviously won't be A.J. Tony needs to act.

Also, Adriana once again did not come back from the dead. Adriana is Christopher's former girlfriend and is one of the sexiest women in the history of television, even if nobody but me (and Christopher) realizes it. She was discussed Sunday, but I want visuals. Bring her back as a ghost or something. Sopranos did before. You think it's a coincidence that ratings fell when Adriana went away? I'm not convinced she's dead. Maybe she's just sleeping.

I'd give Entourage an A this week and Soprano's a B-.

And if you don't have HBO, get it.

This heavyweight still has it

   You never know what will happen when your favorite athlete returns to the game after being away for awhile. You worry a little; does he still have it?

   The Sopranos still has it. The best show in television history returned Sunday night and it was brilliant. Any time a bloody fight breaks out during a Monopoly game you know a show is going to be good.

   The second best show on HBO, and on television, followed, but Entourage was uncharacteristically mediocre. I kept waiting for the big hit, the big laugh or twist, and it never came.

   I'll never be a TV guy. Hey, there's TV Tom, what's on the tube tonight, TV Tom? Most nights there are too many other options.

   But on Sunday night, there's only one.

Opening Day always special

I love being outside, but when ESPN showed Carl Pavano of the New York Yankees throwing the first pitch to Tampa Bay's Carl Crawford Monday afternoon, I was in front of my TV and glad to have the opportunity to be there.

I don't like baseball the way I like football or basketball or boxing, but there was a time I did and opening day reminds me why. If you've lived in a city with a Major League Baseball team, and that team opened the season at home on a sunny afternoon, you realize how many understanding bosses and slack employees your town has.

That Major League Baseball holds its first full day of games the same day NCAA men's basketball holds it's finale indicates there really is an order to the universe.

Every three years, a baseball team that wants a new stadium threatens to move to Charlotte. So if I like the sport, why am I always the one to write that we can't support a team?

I write it because we can't support a team. We'd fill the joint on opening day, though.

My picks were good - for someone

A friend who used the picks I made in the Observer for an NCAA pool says that if Ohio State beats Florida tonight, he wins.

This indicates that there are only two people in his pool.

He said there are 12, so I guess it was a rough few weeks for other people, too.

I had North Carolina, Kansas, Oregon and Ohio State making the Final Four, and my beloved, until Tuesday, Buckeyes winning the tournament. I tore it up in the early rounds, but that's like saying the appetizers were good. The trick is to get your teams into the Final Four.

I liked the Ducks as an underdog because they are sufficiently unconventional to beat anybody. But only a fool would pick against Florida -- until tonight, I mean.