Cars banged, trailers banged: What a night at The Dirt Track!

Five days ago, I witnessed one of the greatest races of my life. It was exciting, it was funny and it was tense. We’d point and say, "Oh, no!" And then breathe deeply. And the next lap, we’d say, "Oh, no!" again.

The Monster Trucks came to The Dirt Track at Lowe’s Motor Speedway Saturday. They were the stars. Kids looked at them the way I looked at baseball players when I was their age.

But as big as the Monster Trucks were – and there has never been a small Monster Truck – the CRASHCars were more compelling. And they were especially compelling during the CRASHCars Trailer Race of Destruction.

The race lived down to the name. Every car had to pull a trailer. Lose the trailer and you’re out of the race. One of the better cars slinked off the track when it left its trailer in Turn 4. You could tell it was sad.

Cars pulling boats or fake passengers or an outhouse skidded around the dirt, and every time they went three wide their trailers did, too, which meant that either they were three wide times two or that they were six wide.

What a race. Cars banged and trailers banged and wheels fell off the trailers and some cars went to the left of the fallen trailer and some went to the right and some went over it.

Obviously, special skills were demanded. Wouldn’t you love to see the Nextel Cup stars try this?

Jeff Gordon, Jimmie Johnson and Tony Stewart are, I think, the most talented drivers in Nextel Cup. Hook a trailer to the back of their cars and see what they do.

But first, what kind of trailers would they pull?

I could see Tony pulling a little Sirius studio equipped with giant speakers that broadcast some of his greatest radio hits.

I could see Jeff pulling a vanity with lots of mirrors and grooming products.

I could see Jimmie pulling a little jail inside of which is a fake Chad Knaus, the victim of yet another NASCAR suspension.

All three would beat the woman that competed Saturday in the pink station wagon. But I’d put my money on Jimmy Spencer.