On Friday somebody watching TV thought he saw Sergio Garcia cheat. The viewer called Quail Hollow to tell on him. Fortunately, Garcia was exonerated and the U.S. remains a free country.
I know that one mistake won't stop callers, however. Some of you love to tattle. I understand. My sons tattled when they were small.
For all the TV tattletales who have yet to outgrow the affliction, do I have a deal for you.
I'm setting up an 800 number: 1-800-SQUEAL.
The first five calls are $1 a minute. Calls after that are a $2. I figure people will become so additicted to tattling that they won't be able to stop.
Buy now and I'll throw in a companion number: 1-800-I'M TELLING DAD.
I'M TELLING DAD applies to every sport other than golf. Let's say you see something in an NBA game that clearly makes no sense defies all know conventions -- such as Carmelo Anthony of the New York Knicks throwing a pass.
We'll put you in touch with authorities and lend a voice to your complain.
The world would be a better place if people sitting at home, hopefully fully clothed, would stop pretending they have a stake in what transpires on the golf course.
But some people have to be part of what they see. Thus, the wave.
Call now. Call often. All major credit cards accepted.
Or, turn off the TV and go outside and do something.